As if Being a Mum isn’t Hard Enough

As if motherhood isn’t hard enough, there is a crazy amount of pressure put on us mums today.

Sometimes I think we forget that when it boils down to it, no one else can tell whether you’ve done what’s “supposedly best for your child” or not. Take a look at these examples and remember that if you have a healthy, happy child, that is loved and cared for – you’re doing it right.

CHILD BIRTH

After attending antenatal class, I figured I would have a natural birth. There would be no epidural, no drugs, and as much skin to skin contact as possible. In a strange way I actually felt like this was what I “had” to do, and what was expected of me.

As it turns out, I didn’t really have any control over the matter.

Casey was breech, and I ended up having an elective c-section. With that came a shit load of drugs which I then I reacted to – yep, there was me vomiting while on the operating table.

Afterwards, I went into shock so when poor Case was born we had only a small amount of skin to skin contact straight away because of the space I was in. Honestly, I could barely deal with what was happening to me, let alone the fact I now had a baby.

Once I was in recovery and the anti-nausea drugs kicked in, then I got to spend time with my little bundle of joy.

BREASTFEEDING

I struggled with breastfeeding BIG time.

In a way, I think it hindered my relationship with Casey in the early days because I wasn’t able to enjoy her as much as I would have liked. I found breastfeeding to be painful, tiring, and I had a baby that was hungry all the time.  

It was really tough.

I could go on and on about this topic, but I’ll refrain. If you’d like to read more about my experience, you can check it out here.

MILESTONES

Time to open up a can of whoop-ass. Milestones.

Secretly every mum compares their child with other kids. We like to see what developmental milestones our kids can do, compared to their little friends.

Hey, I’m the first to admit, I’ve caught myself doing it – and now I realise how ridiculous it is to compare babies… each baby is so different!

It doesn’t matter if your friends’ baby can roll, sit or crawl and your baby can’t. As long as they are moving along in their own strides, they will get there. Personally, I try not to push Casey through her development stages.

I know she’ll get there when she’s ready.

ALL BABIES ARE DIFFERENT

At the end of the day, there is so much pressure on us to be the perfect mother.

It’s almost as though we are bullied into trying to do everything “right” for our child.

Fast forward a few years and imagine a line of five-year-olds standing next to each other. Would you be able to tell which kids were born via c-section?
Who was breastfed?
Who rolled first?
Which ones walked early? 

No.

I’m not saying don’t read up on different parenting styles, or how to do things in a different way, all I’m saying is let’s not be so hard on ourselves. Let’s do what works for us, not what we think we have to do.

It’s time to enjoy our babies and treasure this time with them. Before we know it, they’ll be little people and this precious baby time will have passed.

 

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Kylie is a survivor. She’s endured events that no-one should have to experience. That’s why she wants to share her story; to help other women live beyond their pain so that they too can take control of their life, and live the life they deserve.

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