It’s Time To Reveal My Test Results

I’ve been waiting for this day to come.
In just a few hours, the results from my surgery will be revealed.

My emotions are all over the show.
I’m a mix of nerves, excitement, and caution.
Caution because part of me feels confident, almost sure that everything is going to be okay. 

If there’s anything I’ve learnt throughout my journey it’s that things change… you can never be too sure. 

I try my best to think positively. 

I remind myself that there really are only three possible outcomes today;
1) The results come back clear – the surgery was successful.

2) The results show that the margins aren’t clear and further surgery will be required to remove the high-grade abnormal cells.

3) The results have come back and shown cancer as per the first test and further treatment is required.

Either way, I’ll have an answer.
And honestly, that is a positive thing – whatever the result may be.

I get ready to leave and I’m thankful that hubby is going to be meet me. I’m more prepared now.
I’ve been to enough appointments now to know I will need support, and I’ll need someone by my side when the big news is revealed.

Hubby and I have organised to meet at the Manukau Superclinic. This is where we will meet with the specialist, just before lunch time.

The hours pass quickly and before I know it I’m sitting in my car with hubby next to me, waiting to enter the building. 

While we are waiting, he says to me; “You’d think if it was good news they would send you a letter.”

He’s right. My last set of results were sent via a letter.
No phone call.
No appointment. 

I know hubby doesn’t mean anything by this comment, he’s just thinking out loud, but my thoughts are all over the show.
Does this mean that we’re not going to get the happy outcome we are hoping for? 

I look outside. The clouds are grey and the rain starts to set it. Not a spot of sunshine to be seen. I really hope this isn’t a sign.

It’s nearly time for my appointment. We make our way to the building’s entrance. I don’t need to ask reception where my appointment is. I know exactly where to go. 

I try to make a joke and say to hubby “You’d think I have been here before”, but we don’t laugh. Not really the time for jokes.

We arrive at the waiting room and I give the receptionist my details. She asks us to take a seat. 

There are about five sets of people so I assume that we’re in for a long wait. Imagine my surprise when in just a few minutes my name is called.

I look up to see a familiar face and I feel a sense of relief. Standing there, holding the door for us is the surgeon that completed my cone biopsy, Charles. 

It’s like seeing an old friend again.
Well, almost. 

Charles directs us to an exam room. He then says “Now, do you want good news or good news?”
Hubby smiles. I want to, but I’m also a tad apprehensive.

It’s at that exact moment that I take note of my stomach… it’s in knots. I knew I would be nervous, I just had no idea I would be this nervous.

Charles brings up my results up on his computer.

That’s the great thing with Charles, he gets straight to the point. He doesn’t waste time with small talk, and he doesn’t pussy foot around. He’s a straight shooter. 

I wait with baited breath. 

“Well,” Charles says, “it looks like you won’t be seeing me again anytime soon. Your results show that the margins are clear. We were able to remove all of the CIN3, and there is no cancer.”

He’s done it. He’s removed the high-grade abnormal cells before they turned into cancer.
This man has literally saved my life. 

He’s saved me from cancer.
I’ll be forever grateful.

I can finally breathe.

I’m out of the danger zone.

It’s over.
I really am fit, healthy, and most of all… free from abnormal cells.
Free from any possibility of cervical cancer.

“Thank you, thank you so much,” I say, beaming from ear to ear. Hubby also says thank you to Charles.

Hubby is smiling.
I’m smiling.
Even Charles is smiling.

We’re all really happy with this fantastic news!

Charles then continues to explain the next course of action.

“You’ll need to come see me again in approximately 5-month’s time. You’ll have another colposcopy and a smear test to make sure that the abnormal cells have not come back.”

Then we’re done.
Within fifteen minutes the appointment is over.

Both hubby and I shake Charles’ hand.

We walk down the hall to the exit and Hubby says that we should celebrate. He suggests that we go out and have lunch.
After all, it’s not every day you have good news like this.

I make a vow to never take my health for granted again. 

I will make sure that I always have my smear tests completed on time.
I’ll even be that annoying friend that checks up on family friends to see if they have had their tests completed. 

Because let’s face it. No matter how unpleasant it is having someone check our ‘bits’, I’d rather have that any day than abnormal cells, or worse, cancer.

No-one deserves that horrible disease.

As we exit the main doors I hold hubby’s hand. I can feel the sun shining down on me.
That’s when I notice that the rain has stopped. The grey clouds are no more, and there’s just a clear blue sky.

I whisper a little “thank you” to the universe.
For today is a good day.

*Names have been changed 

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ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Kylie is a survivor.¬†She’s endured events that no-one should have to experience. That’s why she wants to share her story; to help other women live beyond their pain so that they too can take control of their life, and live the life they deserve.

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